Happiness
By Isaac Slade/The Fray

Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home

taking a vicadin before getting in the shower.
bad idea.
= almost falling over about 10 times.

I hardly have time for internet these past 2 weeks but I kind of like it.

Friday was a changing day.
its useless to talk about it since it only pertains to 2 people.
I know just how much he cares about me because of it
and it brought us closer.


Saturday
I helped my dad deliver food baskets & presents for a family who was too poor for a good christmas meal and presents for their 3 kids.
It made me feel so good...seeing the smiles on those kids faces.

then I made a little surprise drive to Andrews house (for the first time by myself & I didnt get lost :)

It was our 3 months...So I got him a card & some hershey kisses.
funny part is...as I was driving up to his house I saw him backing up his truck in the driveway so I parked the van 5 houses down, walked up to his truck,
put it on his dashboard, honked the horn twice and ran as fast I could down the street.  Turns out I surprised him more than I thought because he thought it was from his sister, apologizing.

heh.

later saturday he took me xmas shopping...not really what I wanted to do for our 3 months but I had to do it sometime.


So now we are on break.
my 1st day of it sucked.
Tuesday I got a bottom retainer I have to wear for 6 months because 1 stupid tooth shifted since my other retainers and it was either this, braces, or jaw surgery.

Yesterday was the most painful day of my life. I woke up @ 1:45 am crying and hurting soooo bad. I took some tylenol but I guess I took too much...but not be me because It didnt feel any different. 
I wanted to just have some novacaine or something. My jaw felt like it had broken.

but then my mom came to the rescue when she gave me a vicadin.
that helped a lot.
it has interesting effects. 
but I dont hurt as much.
and it already looks like the tooth moved.
this better work or else I dunno.
at least Its one I can take out...even though taking it on and off hurts the most.
sigh.


I really miss andrew.
havent seen him in 3 days.
hopefully we'll hang out today.
Gathering is gonna be a killer.


I should probably get back to packing...
next 3 days is christmas stuff.
tomorrow...my family
sunday...church x3 services and family lunch
christmas day...w/andrew :]


oh 
it 
is

(steve just snapped a rubber band on my arm and left a red mark :( oww.


so theres a lot Ive been thinking about...how different I am from one year ago. Honestly 16 sucked. worst age/year of my life, at least up until september 16th. :) 


a year ago I had bangs, 
a year ago I didn't know how to get by stress without thinking the worst
a year ago I was wasting my heart on something that caused me more than misery.
a year ago I was naive.

but now.

I have an amazing boyfriend who lives less than 20. min away, and means the world to me, and completes me.
Ive gotten far in music, and hopefully I can get an electric guitar soon.
Ive taken hold of good memories and instead of missing them so much I am more thanful they happened and look back when I need to.

I am wayy more leary about beleifs and such.

But it makes things more interesting.

and my hair is the longest its been in over 2 years. 

So today

I take 16.
& shut the door.

and even though today had its downfall,

im opening a new chapter

and im going to make sure seventeen 

isnt full of as many mistakes.


Andrew & I are going to see a movie after school... (because I can see an R movie now!)
then he's making me dinner and hangin out.

& tomorrow 

there's a lock-in @ church and they are always amazing so I think I will have a pretty good birthday weekend...
especially since Andrew's coming too and that means we can talk til 3am if we want to and ive always wanted to just stay up late with someone...esp. a bf.

saturday=
home.
sleep or else ill be too cranky.
b-day family party
sleep

Sunday=
church
church
church.

I might be there for 12 hours.
ahhh.

we have the biggest/longest LYO meeting
& its at my church finalllllly.

so I am none the less, in for a longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
weekend.
but its all right.



<3

Now our history is for sale
And for that I apoligize
You see you're my only know how
The study of when I believe I belonged to you


so it is november 15. 
12 months.
asdlkjfsjdk;';

I have to admit I wouldnt of learned to take as much crap as I did.
its deff. changed things.
i learned a lot.
things are still weird when thinking about it and next month....ehhh.

& I know ive moved on more than I had in earlier months.
after feb. I really didnt think Id be able to let another guy into my life as a boyfriend aspect.

but things just happened. after waiting for 8 months.
& i wouldnt change anything that got me this far for anything.


tomorrow = our 2 months :]
<3



even though it was a painful time...as they say


what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
cheers.



I remember the day that
I thought I would be free
I poured out my soul to you
Exposed everything
Next thing I know
My heart's broke
My hand it's much the same
I did my best to drink you away

And I will never ever be your lover again
As far as I'm concerned, we are not even friends
This may not seem to subtle to you
The point I'm trying to make is we are completely through

So take what you want and leave
You'll never get another part of

You are poison on man's lips
Lured in by the curves of your hips
Come here boy, stand by me
Look my way, have another drink.




fin.

Once tagged for this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included.

1.  I am more extroverted than I know.  First impressions probably would lead you to believe im a quiet shy person who can't smile because I hate life.....SO not the case.  It all depends on who is around me.  the closer I am to a person or the longer ive known them Ill be more open and loud...and sometimes I get just plain crazy and turn ADD. with warning...I dare anyone to give me mountain dew and you'll see just how hyper I can get    :)


2.  my guitar (fender acoustic) is the best $200 Ive spent in my whole life so far...playing guitar has deffinitely made me who I am & Id never sell it for anything.  I remember me trying to play it within the first 3 months of getting it & after only 3 weeks sitting on the red pine deck trying to figure out what a B min. 7 was when Eric was trying to teach me.  there are days where I play til my fingers bleed, but only to become better.  If I ever get as good as Nate or Eric I know Ive reached what I wanted.  theres nothing better than standing by a campfire playing/singing camp songs on a cool summer night.


3.  Im my worst enemy.  I write songs and days later think its crap...and after a performance I usually always seem to remember more so the mistakes...it comes with being a musician I suppose.  


4.  I have a fear of light bulbs...not of seeing them but touching them...last year one morning at 5am I went to tighten what I thought was a loose lightbulb in my lamp but as I went to do so, it shattered in my hand and I had cuts everywhere & it was not a good time...


5. hobbies include...photography, car rides, driving(I want to get a bigggggg truck when I get a car), radio(im on air every morning 89.1 everyother week), & laughing til you cry.


6. If there's one thing I would say  I believe in 100% all the time is that everything happens for a reason.  Im not always sure about what I beleive in terms of faith and such, and question more everyday BUT I know that if it weren't for the past 4 summers at Michi-Lu-Ca...ups and downs... & many events from february 2006 on, I would not be the Katherine Turner I am today.  if all the crap thats happened in the past year didnt happen I wouldnt have found the Andrew Angyal I did, so in that case Id go to hell and back again any day.  


my turn to tag!!!!

I tag:
Candida
Jill
Rosie 
Kim
Melissa
Erika

Apparently ONE sesame seed is more powerful than I thought after suffering from accidentally inhaling one while eating a hamburger, causing me to choke severely, feel tears spurt from my eyes and nearly pass out.  what an experiance let me tell you.

2. I proved to myself I wasn't as unflexible as I thought when Andrew locked his keys in his truck this morning SO afterschool I hopped in the truck bed and climbed through the window to unlock the door.  It was pretty interesting. sure to make stories one day.


this weekend was pretty sweet. I mean really sweet.


Saturday Andrew and I drove up to Westview Apple Orchard in Romeo. Even that 20 min. trip together felt more couple-ficial if there is such a word and if not then there is now. anyways...so we got some cider & doughnuts & peanut butter fudge & 2 pumpkins we're going to carve together soon. 
Then we went to Big K where I spotted Chris and Tracey in the parking lot and did a running hello.  I bought a harmonica! just because I could. 

By 2:15 we were at Tracey's church for the start of our overnight Small Group Leader training. Andrew only stayed for a bit so saying goodbye was blah. but despite only getting to see him for a few hours, I had a hell of a good time. Me, Mike, Katy, Heather, Stephanie, Alyssa, Eric Myerssss, Zach, Kimberly, Tracey, and Chris make one heck of a team when it comes to staying up late and pillow fights.

The ive-never game is always a truth bearer to all. yeaaaaaaaaaa

After the 5pm service we began our training by doing the first activity we will do for small groups which includes blind folds and traveling hand in hand. Well the church had steps and hallways and all that jazz.  & it was so nice of Chris to grab my hand out of Eric's leaving me by myself and not knowing where the heck I was, still blindfolded, and still watched me walk in a wall and hearing chris and kimberly's loud laugh. yeah. 

later we did a obsticle blindfold thing....I must say seeing a blindfolded man such as Chris pick up a 6 foot long Dolly is hilarious....oh boy. 

a around midnight devotion led up to 2 hours of talking about interesting things with faith and the bible but in all honesty I think I got more confused by the end. 

But supposedly the church is still haunted.

and Eric has mad wheelchair skills...even though he opened the door while falling out of it.


But after 4am you couldn't distinguish us high school kids from the 3 "trainers". it was a crazy few hours between 3 and 6am.  I hadnt had that many laughs in a while though. 

we tried to tie the pinata to the bathroom door so chris couldnt get out but unfortunately kimberlys loud laugh got to chris' ears first so that didnt work. tear.  

I pretty much got less than 2min of sleep, but took a 6 hour nap in the afternoon.

man. we had some goooooood times.

I can't wait for gathering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 its going to be a great year...as long as ******* stays away.

and for everyones information not once did i freakin make out in the parking lot!!!!
or with sean read! I swear!


a few pics...

 @ a park with andrew and tony last week before a nice jog...








<3.

24 hours...


& ill be in a dress and off to dinner and to the homeoming dance :) 


I am soooo excited. I can't think of any words.

many pictures to come & I know its going to be sweeet.

andrew and I are good..and happy and sometimes I cant stop smiling.


yay life.


cheers to a great weekend :D


time to get ready for the homecoming game...

this week has been pretty sweet. busy and fast, but good. 

a lot of drama, but I say and mean it  when i say the heck with it. im not sorry I cant make everyone happy and when I am happy it always seems to set someone else off but I really don't care...

anyways


Yesterday I went and got my varsity jacket ordered, so I should have it by November.
I spent the rest of the day/night with Andrew

we went the Oakland Mall cause I realllllly need homecoming shoes but I couldnt find any that I liked or matched my dress. so I dunno what to do...
but
im pretty sure he enjoyed watching me almost fall down an up escalator at JCPennys. yup. I almost died.
then we went back to his house and watched the Notebook =)
lots of cuddling. <3
he cooked me dinner and got pepper juice in his eyes...not fun.
then he drove me home and sat on the porch and right as we were saying goodbye on the driveway it started to rain...
=)



& today was the youth services which were amazing and we rocked both times! I realized how much I love singing up there and playing gutiar...
and while doing the sermon both times it got me thinking about things...and maybe it was for a reason. 

after the 9o'clock service, I walked down the aisle and saw Andew in the back. I was really glad he came. 
Rachel tried to intimidate him. 





I hope things keep going like this cause im really happy...everytime i see him...all I can do is smile.

I cant wait for homecoming!!!!!

13 days

<3